Angel
by Brynn MacKenzie
Summary: "Katie went this morning. She was still waiting when I called. She said the moment she heard you were in a fatal accident, she knew what she needed to do. She said she was coming home." - Rated T for obvious reasons
1. Wings of an Angel

James couldn't believe what he'd heard. The words still echoed in his mind, and it was already a day after the event happened. He and Katie had been dating for two years, he even had intentions of asking her to marry him, but out of the blue, Katie called it quits saying he was too old for her. Six years wasn't old when you were twenty-two, was it?

Closing his eyes for a long time, he leaned against the door frame and stared at the photograph on the wall. The one and only that she'd let him take, and it was by far his favorite because it featured a smile he'd never seen before. Katie smiled a lot, but never like she did in that picture. It was two months ago when he took it, presumably around the time she'd been promoted to head assistant of a law firm.

Brushing his hair back, he bit his lip and opened his eyes to focus on that image across from him. He had to find her. Katie confessed she loved him two years before they started dating, she was only eighteen at the time, and her stepfather had abused him over it. Her "dad" wasn't going to have any ragtag older kid ruining his daughter's life…even if that "kid" was her brother's best friend.

He went to his room and dug around, looking for his keys. He'd go looking for her, convince her to come back. There's no reason why she should have left so suddenly; not when she was so happy just hours before this startling revelation. Biting down on his lip, he went out to the garage and climbed behind the seat of his Mustang. It was actually Katie's car, but she gave it to him when they broke up, saying she didn't want to come back and get it.

There she was, sitting like a mystery, staring blankly ahead of her. The road was coming at them fast, he was going well over the speed limit. Katie looked over at James and raised a brow questioningly; "James, shouldn't you slow down?"

"Not until I see you again." He turned to her quickly, shaking his head. "You're not here. You're mocking me. Staring at me from where you are, laughing at me, telling me with those caramel eyes that I made a mistake loving you…but I won't believe it, Katie Knight, I won't ever believe that you betrayed me."

"Because my history speaks so well otherwise. James, You've always known that I would have left, you just didn't know when. I told you from day one not to get attached because my job comes first." She stole another glance at him. "Didn't I?"

"That doesn't mean that I couldn't have changed your mind," He countered, arguing back with the ghost of a girl he loved. She wasn't there, he was hallucinating from the fatigue of not having slept in a day. "I wanted to marry you, Katie. I wanted to be with you. You were my life."

"But you weren't mine, James. And how could I have forced you to stay in a loveless marriage?" She looked back to the road, he was still hours away from her mom's house, wondering why he didn't just fly – at least then he couldn't get arrested for intoxication. She couldn't see much in the way of scenery, she just went by how long they'd been on the road. "James Diamond, why are you so reckless?"

"Because if I wasn't reckless, you would have never said yes when I asked you to date me. If I wasn't reckless, you would have stayed…" He paused and thought about it, briefly taking his foot off the accelerator. He was well over 90 miles now. He turned and stole a quick glance at Katie one more time. "I'm going to find you again."

"I know." She replied, staring at the road in front of her.

"And when I do, you're going to marry me."

"Am I?" Katie asked, looking up in awe. "What makes you so sure?"

"You can't turn down someone willing to die for you," James whispered casually. Her form was no longer there when he glanced back. He wondered if he'd put together the puzzle of why she left finally. When he turned back to the road, he saw the flashing lights of an oncoming car, then darkness, followed by nothing else.

* * *

><p>The paramedics arrived on scene moments after the accident, moments that seemed like an eternity. The truck that hit him was idling in the distance, the driver trying desperately to explain that the driver of the car hit him. Police stood in the back trying to figure out what caused the accident.<p>

When Logan Henderson arrived on the scene, his heart nearly stopped. It looked grim, the driver wasn't likely to make it, and the car was familiar. Then the thought crossed his mind; if it was Katie's car, how was he going to break it to James and Kendall? But before the question found an answer, he climbed out of the car and inspected the body. More importantly, how was he going to tell Katie?

Logan had decided after their stint with BTR, that he was going to follow his dream of being a doctor. Working his way up to that, he'd gone with paramedic. Kneeling onto the ground beside the body, Logan began to check for signs of a concussion, shining his pen light into James' eyes. No reaction. Logan's mind began to assume the worst. He asked the other medic what the victim's stats were before he showed up. Too low for a survival, he thought when they told him. He felt for a pulse, but it was way too low to hear. No one had done CPR for fear of breaking his ribs further.

He pulled out the paddles and got them charged, proceeding with what he had to do.

* * *

><p>"Where did you go?" James asked, wandering around in the darkness. It was a shock to see the world around him; to see the people working on fixing his lifeless body. Logan, of all people, was trying the hardest to bring him back – knowing it would kill Katie to know he didn't try. Then he saw it. Logan pulled the paddles away one last time, counting the minutes that passed. "Katie, where did you go?"<p>

There was no answer for a long time, but then she materialized before him, her brunette hair perfect as always. "James, I never left, I was always with you. Why were you so damn foolish?"

"I need you in my life, Katie, without you it's so dull and lifeless."

She snickered and looked at the body; "Seems familiar, huh?"

"You promised me you would be there…at the house…when I came to talk to you. Where are you now?" James inquired, staring at her. "You're not at the house. I just watched Logan try to call you…you didn't answer. Where are you, Katie?"

"I can't tell you that." She replied, staring down at the scene before them.

She could hear Logan's whispered words, and wondered if they'd gotten to James, too. _James, she was pregnant. She left because she was afraid you wouldn't want it, so she was going to a clinic. I told her not to do it, I told her there was no way you'd turn away your own child, but she wouldn't listen to me. James…don't leave her like this._

James looked at her sharply; "Is he telling the truth?"

No answer.

"Katie…" He grabbed her arms, but his hands passed through. "Katie…"

And then she faded into the darkness again.

* * *

><p>Logan would never be able to explain what exactly happened that day, but three minutes had passed. James Diamond was now officially dead by the state's standards. Three long agonizing minutes had gone by, and finally, brown eyes opened to the world and groggily began to search. He tried to sit up, but Logan pushed him down by his shoulder. "Don't do anything drastic. You've got four broken ribs, and a concussion from the impact. If that's all you have, you'd be lucky."<p>

"Where is she? I just saw her." James asked.

"Who?" Logan inquired.

James tried again, his words slurred. "Katie, where is she?"

"…in New Jersey." Logan replied. "She's on her way here…you two need to talk, James. You really need to talk to her."

"I know…" They wheeled him into the back of the ambulance, Logan following. "She didn't go because she didn't love me…she left because she was scared."

"If only you knew," Logan whispered.

"Knew what?" James inquired, fighting to stay conscious. "That she was pregnant?"

"No, that she was at a clinic." Logan saw James' look of horror, likely from the shock of hearing it first hand, and frowned. "Katie went this morning. She was still waiting when I called. She said the moment she heard you were in a fatal accident, she knew what she needed to do. She said she was coming home."

* * *

><p>James sat in the bed, staring at the door for hours. He wove in and out of consciousness, but he wouldn't let himself go to the medication until he saw her and knew she was safe. He was about to give up when he heard footsteps moving fast through the hallway. When she opened the door, he knew he could rest easy.<p>

"You're alive…" she whispered astonished.

"You make it sound like a bad thing." James whispered back.

"No, Logan said it was a fatal accident." She took a hesitant step forward. "Did I hear him wrong?"

"No. There was severe damage to my spinal column, so there's a possibility I won't be able to walk again…but we won't know for another month, when my ribs heal." He stared down at his hands, fidgeting uncomfortably with the sheets. "Katie, are you back to stay?"

"Yes. I won't leave again. You were right, I can't walk away from someone willing to die for me." She sat carefully on the edge of the bed, looking up at him, touching the long mark on his cheek where the glass had cut through. "James, why did you stop me?"

"Stop you?" He inquired, as if he didn't know what she was doing. "From what?"

"Leaving."

"Because I had to. Katie, you're my life." James whispered.

"Logan told you, didn't he?"

"Yes." He coughed and grimaced, but she took his hand and held it tight. "You really wanted to do it?"

"I wanted to. I didn't know how I was going to take care of a baby. Then I realized it wasn't just about me, it's about you, too. And if there was a chance you wouldn't make it, I wanted you to know that you left a legacy behind." She brushed back some of his hair and smiled. "It's only two months, but I'm sure it's going to be a boy that looks just like you."

"You mean…you kept it…?" James asked, tears filling his eyes.

She nodded, smiling softly. "I knew that if I had this baby, and you didn't make it, at least I had something to remember you by. And if you did make it, you'd have something to live for other than me. James, I never meant to leave."

"I know."

She could tell he was fighting off fatigue, so she stared down at him and kissed his forehead. "Get some sleep. You're going to need it."

"Are you going to be here when I wake up?"

"I promise. Knights never go back on their promises." She smiled and pulled up a chair beside him, so she could watch him sleep. "Goodnight, James Diamond."

James yawned and succumbed to the darkness the medication put him to. "Goodnight, Katie. I love you."

"I love you too, James Diamond."

* * *

><p>It switches point of few a few times; and I think it's pretty obvious whose it is, considering at one point it says "staring at the scene below" and "watching Logan work on his body". This isn't a oneshot, though originally it was. It was inspired heavily by the song "Angel" by Belinda, and a book called "True Colors"...which will be the general theme for the story. I'll be updating Step Two shortly, once I get my inspiration back...and figure out where I want to go with it, but for right now, sit tight so I can update.<p>

I recently started working, and 40 hour weeks leave me with little time to actually do any updates, so it's a slow process. Add to that planning for my wedding (I'm engaged!), and you got a hell of a mess to deal with. Please read and review!


	2. Baby Steps

Katie couldn't remember the last time she'd gotten a full night of sleep. If it wasn't James needing her help, it was the morning sickness. James had been sent home with strict orders for bed rest, and Katie wasn't allowed to sleep in bed with him for fear of disturbing his injuries further. The surgery hadn't been so successful, the injuries still extensive, and James' cursing just grew worse with each passing day.

He wanted to rush success. She knew that it wouldn't be that easy, but he wanted the results now. Every time he asked her if he'd walk again, she had to fight off tears and say yes.

Katie had faith in him. Faith that she didn't even have in herself. She knew, without a doubt, that he'd be able to walk again. But with no results to speak of, Katie also feared for the worst.

It was nearing six am when she heard him yelling again. Quietly sliding from the bedroom, she brushed her hair back and folded her arms over her chest, padding into the guest bedroom. "James, what's wrong?" She inquired, sitting beside him and stroking his hair.

"Katie, what if I can't?" He asked, almost as if he were crying.

"You will." She whispered, pushing her hair back from falling into her face when she kissed his lips. "And if you can't, it doesn't matter. You're still the same James Diamond from before, just a little…different."

"I don't want to lose you again." He whispered almost inaudibly.

That struck her hard. "What gave you the idea that I was leaving? I'm in for the long haul, buddy, I'm not going anywhere." She didn't add that she was only staying this time for the child's sake. One that they hadn't spoken of since the night of the accident. It was a little…taboo in the house right now.

"Katie, I want to talk to you about the baby." The house fell silent. The chirping birds outside seemed to stop as well. Her whole world was so quiet; it was almost like she could hear the heartbeat of the baby.

"What about it?" She inquired, resting her hand on his.

"You're what, four months? I won't make a full recovery by the time you deliver. Would you rather have someone else in the room with you? You deserve that much." James knew she was strong, but not that strong. She'd need support from someone, especially since she nearly gave up the night he was in the hospital recovering. Both of them needed each other, and neither saw how badly.

"I figured I would ask my mom to go with me. But I have a feeling you'll be there." She slipped out of the chair and sat on her knees, laying her head on his pillow. "James, you're strong. You'll survive, and you'll fight this."

"I had that dream again."

Silence. That piqued her interest. He never told her about the dream, just kept saying he was having it. She peered over at him, her whole body tensing. "What dream?"

"That I was at the hospital with you." He squeezed her hand, turning to look at her. "And I wasn't allowed in the delivery room because it was a bloody mess. I remember wheeling myself down to the nursery where I could see the baby sleeping, but they wouldn't let me see you. I was holding our baby when the doctor told me you didn't make it."

"I'm going to be fine, James. I survived through pneumonia twice, didn't I? I also survived to be here with you. And if that's no testament to the human will, our baby is still here, isn't she?" Katie had grown used to referring to the child as a _she_. She didn't know if it was or not, but that's the term she used. She stood up and brushed a hand over his forehead again. "You need to get ready; your appointment is in two hours. Do you need any help?"

James blushed slightly. "Just in the shower."

"Not dressing?" She blinked several times. Some things he could do alone, but there were others she had to help with.

"Aren't you supposed to offer to help me _un_dress?" James inquired, smiling mischievously.

"That's what got us into this mess, buster." She smirked and kissed his forehead. "I'll go draw a bath for you. I'll be back in twenty minutes."

When she was gone from the room, James stared at his feet, willing them to move. Nothing changed. He still couldn't walk on his own, and that bothered him. He'd been put on suicide watch because he made the comment that he would rather die than be an invalid, which, he feared, is why Katie put so much effort into his well being. But when it came right down to it, he didn't care, because it meant getting to keep her…even if it was just for a little while.

She came back, as promised, twenty minutes later. Her hair was swept up in a ponytail and she was wearing one of his shirts to hide the baby bump which was now highly noticeable. Katie didn't normally hide it, but she knew that with James' fragile psyche, it might be a bad idea to show it off. "Are you ready?"

He nodded and sat up in the bed, holding out his hands. When she went over beside him, he threw an arm over her shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around his waist, as if he were a wounded soldier.

She got him situated in the bathtub and brushed her hair back, letting out a sigh. "You've lost a lot of weight."

"I would have thought I gained it, seeing as how I haven't been out of bed in a little over two months." He commented casually, scoffing at the bubbles. "What's with the soap, little one?"

James had grown used to calling her _little one_, because she was smaller than him in every aspect. Plus, it kind of gave her that 'big brother' feeling that they had when they were younger. "I didn't think you'd hate the soap. Don't you like bubbles?" She inquired, kneeling beside the tub and propping her hand on the edge, laying her head against her arm. She ran the other hand through the bubbles, and smiled slightly. "You're still handsome, even if you're kind of deformed right now."

James put two fingers to his head, as if it were a gun, and pretended to pull the trigger. "Wrong thing to say."

Katie sat up, startled, and looked ahead of her wide eyed. "James."

He turned to look at her, curiosity overcoming him. "What? Are you okay? Have you gone into labor?" Of course he would ask that. James knew nothing about children or the process that got them into the parent's arms.

"No!" She moved her hand down to her abdomen and waited, patiently, for the feeling again. And then, there it was. A few moments of stunned silence, and she grabbed his arm. "Feel."

He placed his hand where she'd instructed and waited. He couldn't tell what she was waiting for, but then it hit him – literally. A movement he'd never noticed before. All the times he held her, and he never knew what it was like to feel his own child. "Is that good?"

"That's amazing! Children don't develop like this from what I've heard. She's ahead of the game. James, we'll be holding our baby girl in no time!" Then she frowned when she saw his reaction to her words. He hadn't moved his hand, and she didn't ask him to, but he had tensed and she saw it. "Sorry."

"No, you're excited. It's cute." James didn't like thinking about the child because he knew when it was born that he'd never get to see him (James called it a _him_ because he wanted a boy), and he'd never get to hold him, and Katie would be gone, taking care of him. So what was he getting from the deal? Absolutely nothing, except the knowledge that he'd forced Katie to stay when she didn't need to.

She took a cloth from the shelf behind her and soaked it in water, then thoroughly with soap, and pressed it against his neck slightly. "James, this may sound weird, but this is kind of like…pre-child training. Learning what to do…"

* * *

><p>Ten minutes passed in silence. She continued working the cloth, he'd long since moved his hand, and she was being eerily quiet. "Do you want to go with me?" She finally asked, watching him lean forward so she could rinse his hair out. "When I find out the gender, I mean."<p>

"Of course I want to go with you. If I can." He looked at her, his brown eyes watching curiously. Her movements were less fluid and more jerkish. He reached a hand out and took hers before she could dump the water in his hair again. "Katie, if you're afraid I won't want this baby you're wrong. I want both of you, and I won't go back on my word. I'm going to stand by you – proverbially, through all of this."

"I'm not afraid of that," She smiled and laughed quietly. "I'm more afraid of what will happen if I keep lifting you like that. They told me not to carry heavy objects."

"Oh. Well, I'll get better soon." He didn't say it with conviction, which made Katie wonder if he was being honest

She forced herself to stop asking questions and continue getting him prepared for his therapy appointment. "Are you ready to get out?" She asked.

"Yes," He replied, waiting for her to do her usual routine. "I'll be able to get dressed on my own if you help me with my shoes."

"Of course," she replied with a smile, and then left the room so he could dress. When he finished, he'd managed to crawl back into his wheelchair with minimal effort. Katie towel dried his hair and smiled, kissing the top of his head.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Katie was sitting in a chair on the wall at James' appointment. She was watching his instructor work with him, asking him to try simple things, like retraining himself to walk. She brushed her hair back and watched. This went on for a few minutes before James started cursing again, saying he couldn't do it, and he'd never be able to walk again. He was never really one for being positive, she thought casually.<p>

The instructor nearly fainted at the expletives he used. Katie sighed and stood, walking over to James, laying her hand on his shoulders as she knelt down to his level. "James, if you don't make progress, how can you expect to move forward?"

That's when he did something Katie never expected. He looked her in the eye and told her to go. "Catherine, I wouldn't be in this mess if you had just stayed in the first place. Well, you know what? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of seeing you every morning. I'm tired of needing you to take care of me. And I'm tired of you telling me it will get better when it isn't! I'm hopeless, okay? Thanks for rubbing it in."

"Catherine, huh? So we're back to unspeaking terms? Fine. I'll go. But you're not allowed to find me and force me t come home. If I leave, I leave for good this time. And I'm going to that clinic." Katie whispered, breathless and near tears. So he'd taken his anger out on her. That's fine, she could handle herself, but when he said he didn't need her help, she lost her resolve. "Maybe you'd be able to fight harder if you lost everything you were living for."

James watched her run out the door, wanting to stop her, to hold her and tell her it was okay and he was wrong, but she was already gone by that point. Without knowing where she went, or how to stop her, he was helpless. He looked to his instructor again and frowned. "She's not coming back, is she?"

"Doubt it," The woman replied, staring at James' foot. "Do that again."

"Do what again?" James inquired, watching his feet as well. A few seconds later, his toe began to twitch. "…a small step, I suppose."

* * *

><p>Katie began to feel her body spasm, which was what happened before she grew sick. She leaned against the cool tiles of the girls' bathroom and slid down the wall, closing her eyes. That was one thing she couldn't do. As much as she hated him right now, Katie couldn't walk away from James. Not because he was giving her a place to stay, but because she loved him unconditionally, and he didn't believe her. She crawled over to the toilet just before she began to dry heave.<p>

Another woman passing by paused in the doorway. "Ma'am, are you okay?" She inquired, kneeling beside the closed stall door. "You sound like you need help."

"I'm fine," Katie whimpered. "Just a little sick."

"Katie?" The woman shouted skeptically.

"Jo!" Katie shouted back, wiping off her lip and flushing before she unlocked the door. "Jo, I need help." Katie began to cry into her sister in law's arms. "Where is Kendall?"

"He's over in Maternity, why?"

"Why is Kendall in Maternity?" Katie inquired, looking at Jo.

Jo's gaze moved to her own distended stomach, then back to Katie. "No reason."

"You're due already? It was like; just yesterday that you told us you were pregnant!" Katie frowned and looked away. "Congratulations, I guess."

"How is James? I heard about the accident. Kendall tried to come down to see him, but Gustavo wouldn't let him. Is he getting any better?" Jo inquired, brushing her hands in a motherly way through Katie's hair. "Slow progress is still progress."

"If telling me to get the hell out of his life for causing him to be a borderline paraplegic counts as progress, then he's excelling marvelously." Katie stared down at her feet, looking up to Jo. "Shouldn't you be in the delivery room?"

"No, they're not inducing me for another hour. My doctor told me to walk around a little bit and see if that helps induce naturally, otherwise they're going to have to do it themselves." Jo watched Katie grimace. "Hey, it will be okay. I'll have Kendall talk to James for you, alright?"

"It's not that," She whispered with a nervous laugh. "The baby is hungry."

"Sure, blame the baby," Jo laughed with her. "I know, you probably aren't hungry right now."

"You nailed that one right on the head. Jo, did Kendall ever do anything like this to you?" Katie whispered, watching the older woman prop her back against the wall and slide up. "I mean, did he ever tell you to get the hell out of his life because he didn't need you?"

"Katie, James is going through a rough time. To him, his world is over. He's afraid that you're going to leave him because he can't do what you can do. He's afraid of his career being over – which it just may be. He's terrified of losing you and the baby over this – he already almost lost you both. Don't ask him to change who he is if he's terrified of being different. This is new for him, he's not making much progress, and he's fighting to keep you. Isn't that hard enough?" Jo whispered, helping Katie to her feet. "I'm not picking sides; I just think you're being a little unfair given the circumstances. Consider this; you're moody and irritable, right? Well, he's just like you, only worse. You're not losing anything. He is."

Katie hadn't looked at it that way. She looked away absently and frowned. "I guess I was being a little unfair. But when he told me to leave I just—"

"You felt like you had to?" Jo finished.

Katie watched her feet, brown eyes unmoving. "Yeah."

"It's a tough time for both of you. You're changing in ways he didn't know, and he's changing in ways he doesn't want to know. Both of you are going to have a hard time. Just be patient and wait for him. He'll be back to the same old James before you know it. In the meantime, just stick with him and help him recover. Don't turn your back on him – even if he asks you to." Jo paused and sucked in a deep breath. "Want to walk with me back to Maternity?"

"Of course!" Katie shouted. "I'd love to see what I'm getting into."

* * *

><p>James sat in the corner of the hallway outside of Maternity, where Kendall had told him to go, staring at his shoes. He couldn't very well go into the room after what he'd said to Katie. He wanted a life with the woman, not to throw her to the ground and walk on her. Closing his eyes for a long moment, he pulled the door handle and waited for a click.<p>

Katie was lying on what looked like a table, her feet up nearly around her neck. _That can't be comfortable_, he thought. She didn't turn to look at him, which was fair, but he wished she would. Give him some sign that the relationship was still going, anything. She pulled her shirt up as instructed, and paused, flinching when the doctor rubbed some goo on her tummy. He came a little closer and watched, mesmerized.

As the doctor moved a wand like object around, James came in closer, laying his head against Katie's hand. "This is…fascinating."

Katie nearly jumped, not having heard him come into the room. "James I—"

"There she is." The doctor announced, pointing to a small, alien-like object on the screen.

"Wait," James paused the doctor and looked at Katie for a minute, then back to the screen. "It's a girl?"

"Mmhmm," The female turned to look at James and blinked several times. "If you don't want a girl, I can think of several families that would be interested in adopting."

"Hell no!" James and Katie shouted at the same time. Katie paused while James continued to speak. "I want to keep my baby girl and raise her as best as I can. She'll be tough, like her mother."

Katie whimpered as if she was going to cry, then reached out and took his hand, holding it tight. "Promise you're not going to make me leave again. Promise."

James nodded and smiled, moving her hair from her face. "I promise. We should wrap this up and go see how Jo and Kendall are progressing."

Katie nodded and told the technician she wanted to keep a picture of the ultrasound, then smiled at James and handed him the image. He traced his fingers carefully over it, as if the image was the child itself. "She's adorable, isn't she?"

"Katie, there's no doubt in my mind that she'll look like you." He kissed her hand and smiled. "She's going to be tough like you, too. And maybe, she'll be strong like me."

"Strong like you?" Katie inquired.

"I moved my toe."

Katie froze. "You moved…your toe?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! I moved my toe! The doctor said that with that progress, I might be better before your delivery!" He tossed his head back to look at her. "What do you think? Do you think I can make it?"

"I have faith in you," Katie commented, brushing a hand over her stomach and letting it rest there. "So does Landon."

"Well, thank you, girls! I never thought I'd get support from both sides." He kissed Katie's lips when she leaned over, and smiled carelessly. "Four and a half more months to go."

"Twenty-two more weeks. Give or take a week." Katie commented, thumping into a chair outside of Jo's room. "I'm terrified."

"So am I." James whispered. And with that, they stared at each other for a long time, James finally speaking up sharing the thought they were both thinking. "Katie…what if she doesn't make it?"


End file.
